Cats have long been accused of being solitary. Unlike dogs, most cats don’t like every person they see right away. Some people appreciate that you should earn your cat’s affection. Others (I) find it frustrating. So how do you get a cat or a cat you love?
- get a cat that loves you
- How do you make your cat love you
- Why does my cat love me so much
- Can cats be obsessed with their owners
- Do my cats love me
- How do I tell my cat I love him
Like many other humans, cats may find mysterious creatures. But believe it or not, it is not difficult to make friends with cats if you know what to do. Here are some tips on how to communicate effectively with a cat, drawn from scientific studies and my own experience as a researcher and counselor for cat behavior.
1. Pet cats wherever they are …
They are very sensitive to touch and generally tend to love them in some places more than others. A small study in 2020 showed that cats showed more positive responses – such as purring, flashing, and paw milling – to demonstrate the forehead and cheeks. They were more likely to interact negatively – by hissing, hitting, or moving their tails – when placed in the tail area. A more recent study has validated these results with a larger sample size – many owners can attest to these preferences.
Of course, every animal is individual, but these studies give us a good starting point, especially if you are meeting a cat for the first time.
2. Let the cat call the shots.
When we see cats, we really want to fondle them – but according to Doctor Hanen Abdel Rahman in Swiss studies, the best way is to let Kitty do the first step.
Research in 70 Swiss homes with cats has shown that when humans sit and wait – and focus on something else, like a good book – the cat is likely to come close, and is less likely to withdraw when people respond. (This preference explains why many cats are attracted to people with allergies – because people with allergies usually try not to manipulate them.) Another study has found that interactions last longer and are more positive when the cat begins activity and decides when it ends. Play hard a little, and you may find they can’t get enough of you.
3. Be a careful observer of their behavior.
In general, use your common sense. Be a careful and objective observer of how you have responded to your actions. Cunning body language can be subtle – a small thing like a blink of the eye can indicate complacency, while ear cramps may indicate irritation – but when you learn their signs, you will find yourself more in tune with what they feel. And if you adjust your behavior accordingly, you will soon find that you have earned the cat’s confidence.
4. Take your cat character into consideration when adopting it.
If you want to adopt an older animal, take some time in the shelter to get to know them first, as the adopters of adult cats report that the character played a big role in their decision to take an animal’s home permanently and had an impact on their satisfaction with their new companion. Better yet, take care of the person first. Shelters can be stressful, so you’ll get a better idea of what an animal will look like when in your home. Not all cats are well organized when they are young, so a cat may have its own unique rules about the types of interactions that are ok.
It is also important to remember that the appearance of a cat is not an indication of its personality, and not only the black cats get a bad rap. In 2012, I published a study with 189 participants that showed that people are more likely to customize character traits for cats based on the color of their fur only. Among other things, they tend to think that orange cats will be the most beautiful and most isolated white cats. (Needless to say, these are inaccurate assumptions.) And it’s not just the cat’s personality that matters – your personality is important, too. Another study conducted in 2014 on nearly 1,100 pet owners suggested that self-identified “cats” tend to be more introverted and anxious when compared to dog individuals. (We’re also more likely to be open-minded and creative, so it’s not all bad.) If you are open and active, it might be better for you to use the fun cat game. If you prefer to spend the nights you hang out on the sofa, the cute and lively love bug maybe your ideal pet.
5. Customize cats when they are young.
Multiple studies have shown that only a few minutes a day of positive interaction by humans helps cats to grow friendlier and more confident in humans. The ideal age for mixing kittens is between 2 and 9 weeks. A 2008 study found that shelter cats that were given a lot of “enhanced socialization” – additional attention, passion, and play – were a year later more affectionate with their owners and less fearful of other cats that were adopted from the same shelters.
You can help raise small cats by volunteering as a carer. Boosting their exposure ensures a lot of interactions with people, which will help them feel comfortable around potential adopters. It will also house your local shelters for a great favor by relieving overcrowding.
6. Keep the inner kittens.
A study conducted in Italy showed that cunning that mostly remained indoors (they had one hour of supervised access to a small garden every day) was “more in sync” with its owners than cats who were allowed free access to the outdoors. Indoor cats were more active during the day when their owners were more likely to be active, and less active at night when humans liked to sleep. (Many people think cats are nocturnal, but they are naturally natural – active at dawn and dusk.)
7. Play with them – a lot.
Most of the behavior problems I have seen stem from boredom and lack of routine playtime. No one thinks twice about walking their dogs every day, but many people fail to realize that cunning is hidden predators that need a regular outlet for that energy. A recent study suggested that cats prefer human interaction over food, but a closer look at the data showed that what really attracted them to humans was having an interactive game. One of their best options is a stick-like game with feathers, strings, or other prey-like attachments that provoke predatory behavior. Daily interactive play is a great way to connect with them when they’re not in the mood to cuddle – and to keep fit.
8. Don’t Overfeed Your Cat.
Many believe that food equals love and that withholding food may make your cat hate you, but a recent study of fat cats from Cornell University showed that the opposite is true – at least for a period of time. About a month after placing 58 overweight cats on a diet, three-quarters of their owners reported that their food cats were more affectionate, more frequent, and were more likely to sit on their owners’ lap. This wonderful behavior came with some unpleasant side effects – the cats also begged and said more – but by the eighth week, both good and bad behavior had subsided for about half of the animals.
Regardless of whether the diet makes your pet more embrace, keeping your pet on the lean side is a great way to help them stay healthy and avoid problems like diabetes, joint pain, and impurity. (Overweight animals have trouble grooming, and do you really want them to sit on your lap if you can’t keep their ass clean?)
9. And if you get negative comments, give CAT some space.
There are many signs that your cat does not like your actions. These can range from overtness – like hissing and biting – to the most accurate: flattening their ears, looking at your hand, or twitching their tails. When you get one of those signals, it’s time to pull back.
Many owners that I work with to correct behavioral problems don’t fall back when they should, partly because they enjoy the experience of pampering their cat so much that they fail to realize that the cat doesn’t enjoy it either. You can’t force cats to love you to treat (this is especially true for wild cats), but the more they know that you will respect their terms, the more likely they will trust you – and return to more attention when they’re ready.
10. Get close to your cat the way you dream (sort of)
Felines who are friendly with each other greet each other nose to nose. You can simulate this behavior by introducing a non-threatening tip of a finger across the nose, a few inches away. Don’t hover, just bend over and reach out gently. Many cats will ascend and smell your finger, and may even rub it. Now, this is a successful greeting.
11. Respect your cat’s space.
Your cat will need some time to settle in if she’s new to the home; some take longer than others to do this. Let your cat find comfortable spots to hang out, and don’t invade those spaces. This general rule will continue even after she becomes comfortable in her home. Cats enjoy their independence and will let you know when they would like your attention (or give you clues as to when they don’t want it if you are a space-invader!).
12. Observe body language.
Your cat will communicate first and foremost with her body language (see cartoon below). Respect what she is telling you. Has she crouched away from you or is her body-oriented towards you and more welcoming? Is she flicking her tail as a sign of annoyance, or is it relaxed? Pay attention to her ear positions, how wide her eyes are, and body position.
13. Let your cat come to you.
Don’t force a friendship – let your cat decide how comfortable she is and when she wants to interact with you (although you can do some things to encourage interactions, see below). Cats learn a lot just through observation, so even though you may not be directly interacting with her, she’s learning a lot about you if she’s simply watching you from a window perch or the couch. Let her watch and learn about your movements, smells, and sounds!
13. Give your cat choices and respect the choice she ends up making.
Whether it’s a place to nap or perch, or an opportunity to play (or not), letting your cat decide what she wants to do will build her confidence and help her learn that you are not going to force her to do anything. Cats become stressed when they have no control over their environment (that’s one reason why animal shelters can be so difficult for them), and enjoy having choices about when, what, where, how, and who to interact with. It’s no fun when someone constantly tries to control what you’re doing, so why would your cat enjoy that?
14. Learn your cat’s limits to being touched.
Take a gradual approach to learning where and how your cat likes to be touched. Never poke or tease when attempting to touch or pet your cat; always use predictable movements. Be aware of her body language to learn where and how your cat likes to be stroked or petted. If your cat has petting aggression, try to limit petting sessions both in terms of where you pet her and for how long.
15. Decide how to make each interaction a positive one for your cat.
You have control over whether or not the interactions you have with your cat will be positive or negative. Play-time can be really fun for both of you, for example, but be careful – what you might think is playing might be interpreted as aggressive teasing or taunting by your cat. Always use toys to play, and let her catch the toy occasionally. Before interacting with a particularly sensitive cat, really try to think about what you can do to make that interaction positive so that you build your cat’s trust. Take every opportunity you can to create a positive association with you!
Doctor Hanen received her doctorate. In Europe, in Switzerland, he studied human psychology and studied animal behavior and the relationships between humans and pets. She is a researcher in the city of Zurich and ADMIN at website videoscats.com